Adjustments

So back during the weekend of September 3rd and 4th I had my first attunement. I am infinitely grateful for that experience and the moments that have followed.  Practicing kindness and presence has humbled and delighted me more than I ever knew it would.

My grammar isn’t always great, nor is my spelling.  I can hold up a conversation and conduct a training.  I listen well and yet all of these things are never done.  I’m not sure that even a better understanding of grammar or drawing or knife skills or anything like that could keep up with whatever my idea of put together is.  If it could keep up with the rate of transitions that I arrive at and leave.

Does that mean that I can post something here and then come back and edit?  I think so.  I get caught up about finishing a bit.  When are you done?  When did you start?  When did something make a difference?  When was something too much?

Things are sharper when you can’t see them?  ”Grace isn’t always graceful” – SFD  Things get messy.  All thing are relative.  Like the way you touch someone’s cheek.  That’s special.  Eye contact is important.  Taking a chance is important.  Taking a moment is important.  Being kind and gentle and still and passionate.  Even the ugly stuff friends.  Are you a good person?

Are you a bad person?

Does that matter?

Maybe they both exist or maybe they don’t.  But further judgment on wherever you are or whomever you think you are is quite possibly different than you know.

I recently posed nude for a painting.  An opportunity arose, I responded not thinking anything would come of it thinking maybe I did my part shoving my boat off the shore and now I’m out on it.  Sure, 4′ x 4′.  Seriously.  All of me.  I’m more beautiful than I thought.  I’m more bitchy and moody than I thought.  I am kind and forgiving for the most part.  I hold onto stuff sometimes.

Life is incredible.  Take a bite,  how will you know otherwise.

New moments

I am getting a Reiki attunement this weekend. More adventures to come.

Sasquatch Music

I have never been to this but it sounds fun. My birthday is in May and perhaps I can persuade a friend or two from the east and west coast to join me for an evening or two out in the dirt.

http://sasquatchfestival.com/lineup

Just think about it.

Thomas Keller, Please and Thank You.

I really enjoyed this book I just finished, “The Soul of a Chef”, written by Michael Ruhlman.  Pardon the goobers with documentation, can’t find my MLA book.  I work very hard and think about a lot of things, a bigger picture most of the time, and this next paragraph from the book from a conversation between Thomas and Michael really resonated with me.  

”  ” You can tell those people who are naturally in tune with what’s going on, with what they’re doing.  How they treat equipment, how they treat products, how dirty they get during the course of an evening.  All those elements.  Do you really care about everything that’s going on around you, do you really care about everything?  Or just the finished plate?  Because it doesn’t begin with the plate.  It begins when you wake up.  It’s got to be a philosophy.  You have to be determined, determined to do it every day.  If you’re going to have a clean plate, you’ve got to heave a clean oil bottle.”  ”  Thomas Keller to Michael.

I feel the same way.  And while my hours of service on bar or training are not as long as some of these chefs I definitely make an effort to be as efficient as comfortably as possible.  That efficiency includes cleanliness, speed, quality and an ear for mistakes, miscommunications and other possible changes.

I have been wondering what is next for me.  Should I move towards my own shop?  How do I know when I am ready to take on such a huge project?  I still want to go to school, which is getting pushed back till at least next spring because my transcripts got held up.  I want to travel and going to France and London this June will be a good way to test to water for that.  I am interested in food.  I am interested in motherhood.  I am interested in butchering, knitting and working hard.  

I think that it is really important to take care of yourself, your friends and pretty much anyone you meet.  Folks come through for you in really interesting ways when you least expect it.  I think that it is important to keep your intention in mind when you are doing just about everything.  Something that I have found troubling though is how do you maintain an intense focus on your passion, your work while also maintaining personal relationships?  Most of the time I feel very focused when I am with loved ones.  I feel focused when I am work.  I think about work when I am not there.  I think about where I want to go, I day dream and I stress about losing focus on one thing or another because my gaze is so strong elsewhere.  What do you think about that?  

Have to run.  

Can’t wait to visit London and France!

Jazz post in the subway

I just finished a long day at work today and found myself talking to this older gentleman in the upper west side subway at 86th Street.  I said hello, he seemed kind and he asked me if I liked jazz.  He gave me a video of some 50′s and 60′s jazz artists that I haven’t ever heard of.  He said he liked more Dixie Land jazz.

I shared that I just watched some Don Rickles earlier and shared what I learned about early vegas, business and the mob.

Anyways it was an interesting conversation.  My friend won a James Beard award for writing tonight.  Pretty fucking cool.

cry cry baby come on

Sam and I baby sit every Wednesday night.  Some nights the little one cries more than others.  Usually Wednesday’s are our day off.  Sam and I helped move our friend Alex into our apartment.  It only took a few hours to actually make happen.

It’s interesting trying to deal with being grumpy while having to be around someone.  It kind of sucks.  It’s just general grumpiness that I can’t even let go of and I don’t know where it came from and I can’t stand anything around me….. lame…

First mobile post

Hi, at work now

New job

So, I am leaving Pedlar and have found a home with Joe the art of Coffee in the Upper West Side at 85th and Columbus.  Come visit and say hello.  I will be working four days a week after the 16th of November.

Photos

So I am finally watching Twin Peaks and I am still plugging away on a few knitting projects.  I need a camera so I can start taking pictures of my work.  I spoke with a few friends that are interested in a few scarves and I am anxious to get started on them.  My room is finally more clean than ever today.  I miss the west coast and my buddies out there.  

xo

More knitting

I think I am going to try and learn a cable stitch today.  I have a friend to hang with and ask questions of.