Red Cardigan and Balls

So I had a weird dream that had T.J. in it.  She was a step parent of mine, we got along ok at first and then we had a blow out in the end where we actually got into a fight, again weird.  Anyways it definitely wasn’t welcome having her in my dream but she wasn’t as abrasive as she usually was.  She was almost supportive in the kind of scary way that I have been supportive of myself when I am doing new things.  Or maybe she was just impartial and I was just supporting myself, not sure. She gave me her keys to go back up to my house out in Oly where I just moved from to get my school work or something like that.  When I got home Sonja was there and she was younger and the house that I was going to turned into a mix of the first house I lived in on Long Ave. in Corvallis, OR and the house out in the sticks out on Llewellyn Rd. There was a big hill, brambles, weird grass, dirt and a big old oak tree, healthier than the one back on Llewellyn Rd.  Well there were all of these balls in the yard, like that plastic bouncy ones, the ones for those of you who know me well that I have a hard time not getting when I see them.  The last best one I had was like 2.5 feet wide and hot pink, fucking awesome.  Anyways I was being a punk older sister and playing with my sis and bouncing that balls too hard, not all of the time and this is where I start making things up to bring together my memories of the dream with something that makes sense.  So there were a bunch of these ball up in the tree, the tree didn’t have leaves but I don’t think that it was fall or winter?  And I promised her that I would get the balls out of the tree and I think that I planned on simply shoving against the tree trunk or one of the branches.  Visually I can’t figure out how I did this but I had a hand on the tree, like a huge hand from God or something fuck I don’t know, but I shook that tree a bit and all of these ball in kind of a dreamy slow cascading way all came out of the tree and were bouncing all over the yard and down the hill towards the water.  Visually that was the best part of the dream right there.  

There there was my outfit, can’t remember all of it but I had a black tightish longs sleeve shirt on and a rad cardigan.  The cardigan was like fire engine red.  I’ve never been one to wear a cardigan but they are so cute.  I have been having a lot of clothing ideas lately and even have started visualizing a line inspired by the tile work and colors in subways….

Give me a few years….

Some things I don’t particularly care for.

I don’t really like sharing the heat of hot legs next to me on the subway when I sit down, and I am sure the person next to me doesn’t like it either.

Some of the smells that the summer rain and heat make from the subways.  As grateful as I am for the air moving around down in the subway when it’s so so hot, I really don’t care for the smell that comes with it.

There is this little pizza place over here in Harlem that has that lovely smell that the Cheesecake Factory has in Seattle.  It’s like sort of spoiled old dried up milk, bleh.  

That’s it.

I went to the Shake Shack today and had an amazing burger and a weird shake.  The shake was like an orange vitamin shake that tasted like the Fred Flintstone vitamins that I used to take by the glug when mom wasn’t looking, sorry mom.  The burger was great though, but I stood in line with like 50 other people for like half an hour.  

Other great burgers:

Dumont Burgers in Brooklyn on Bedford and 1st or something.  It was super juicy, great roll as the bread and the fries were amazing.  And for $19.95 you can have all that and a chocolate shake!  No really it was at least a 2-0 for all of that not including tip.  And they asked me how I would like my burger, so that was cool.

New York Burgers, also great on 23rd and 6th Ave.  Cheaper.  And I didn’t get to taste the burger hot because I was talking on the phone forever but the onion rings were great and so was the blue-berry smoothie.  

I was going to move tomorrow but it works better for Yo, my roommate, that I move Sunday, which is fine.  It’ll give me an opportunity to practice getting from work in Greenpoint home for the first time.  I might just cheat and take a taxi, we have a staff meeting.  

 

My Grandpa passed away yesterday.

I am really bummed out.  He was my new dad’s father.  His name was Ross Wadman.  My mom just got re-married last summer to a really amazing person, Theodore.  The very first time I met both Ross and Peggy I remember feeling a little nervous because for some reason I felt like they knew me and that they would put me at ease and really see me.  Why? I don’t know I just had this feeling and was pleasantly met with very much that feeling with them.  It was just this really amazing intense genuineness that just lays everything else, walls, anything negative to rest.  I couldn’t help but feel connected. 

For those of you that know me you know that my family is pretty disconnected.  Blood wise there has been lots of divorce, for very good reason, and just lots of weird connections and poor support with in my family.  

(the whole point up there in the last two sentences is that because of the disconnection I haven’t really felt a loss in the family before.  I’ve lost some relatives, one that I even found in the paper before anyone called us, but never someone that I cared to know and that I got to spend some time with. )

But now with my new episode with Theodore, Ross, Peggy, Jared, Lucas and Cameron, all my new brothers it’s great.  Because it’s been so good I made a point to go home before I moved out here.  My mom was amazing when I called her in March while visiting NYC for the first time and told her that I wanted to move.  She was supportive and said ok.  When I told my mom last March that I was thinking of putting my cat Linus down she was super supportive too.  So supportive in fact that she suggested that she and Theodore come up and not only support me, say good bye to Linus who was 17 and with us all that time, but to be able to take him home to bury him with our other animals.  And whatever right, it’s a body but I was so thrown off by the sweet offer and the support and closeness of her offer.  It ended up that she, Theodore and my sister Sonja came up to be there.  It was sad but it was family and we were there together.  And that’s just the beginning. 

I really want my family to be together and I’d like to go home for the memorial in a month.  Grandpa wanted to be cremated which for lack of better wording works out well because that gives us all time to coordinate and make time to come together.  I don’t have the date yet but I am going to try and go home.  I don’t have any regrets about being out here but I think that it definitely makes it a little harder because I can’t just hop on the train, or borrow someone’s car to go home and be there with family right away.  

My heart go out to Grandpa, Grandma, they just have their 50th anniversary like a year ago, Mom, Dad, Sonja, Jared, Lucas and Cameron.  

I forget that I don’t always right things down but Grandpa had a stroke like a week or so before I left Oly and I definitely was more concerned about it then but he was making progress, more so than anyone thought he would make.  Everyone was surprised today.  But weird things were lining up, Grandma had just stayed the night, the cat jumped in the carrier for the first time ever.  I don’t know what I am supposed to do with the blog thing.  This particular post is more journal like as I haven’t written on my own about this today but wanted to share.  

Oh and Caroline was great today on the phone about me taking a few days in July.  Work is amazing.  I feel great being here and being apart of this little coffee family.  

Go coffee!

Make sure you spend the time with the people you care about when the opportunity presents itself, I missed mine and didn’t make time when I was in Oregon and feel a little weird about that.  I wish I had and I didn’t.  I know that I shouldn’t really let that bother me but at the moment it does.  

So, huge correction.  Ross passed away on Tuesday, but I found out about it yesterday.  

AC finally….

So the girls and the guys dug up another spare AC and just installed it and a pizza box top into my window.  So my last week will be a nicer, cooler one here up in Harlem.  

Work has been good.  Saturday was challenging.  We brew all of our coffee on the clover, and each coffee, 4 different single origins right now, has a specific recipe including gram weight/ ounce, temperature and brew time.  So this means that I get to practice the adaptibiblity that I like to think that I have, and I do, but that day, Sunday and even today has challenged how quickly I adapt and can truly multitask.  On Saturday as I felt myself struggling to keep up with the coffee, the line and keeping the sweat off my brow I felt like throwing a inside tantrum or cry a little.  It was challenging and I really was pushing myself to keep up and prove myself.  Whom am I trying to prove myself to?  Mostly myself, and definitely I feel the personal pressure that I give myself when I am around co-workers and peers but I am grateful that more of that has shifted from others to myself.  I think that I can be less forgiving of myself than of others.  Typical.

Talib Kweli is playing, along with Pete Rock and Buckshot this Friday at the Museum of Natural History this Friday.  If my money comes in I am so going.  

Wish list: New Purse, different size, something cool.  New summer clothes and as always more color from MAC.  I just got a new brush, new mascara and a bronzer today.  I threw out my last mascara because I got pink eye like two weeks ago.  I was so worried that I would have to throw out all of my make-up because of the contamination after my eye got infected.  But thank god that Michael at MAC told me I could just wash my make-up down and move on.  Awesome!

And, sorry this post got so distracted towards the end here, Oliver is in town and we’re kicking it tomorrow drinking so much coffee.  

Oh, and many of you will be getting hand written letters in the next couple of weeks with my new Brooklyn address!

xo

more and more…

So it’s still hot, nothing changed there.

I went to Angelica’s Kitchen last night by accident.  I was visiting with my new roommate yesterday and dropping off some of the deposit money and she suggested that I check out the east village.  It was great.  I was really hungry though and started getting grumpy because I couldn’t find anything that really jumped out to me.  So in my wandering I came across it.  The staff was great, the food was delicious, reasonably priced and good for me.  I had a cup of miso soup, the si se puede salad that had arugula, mint, lettuce, garbanzo beans, balsamic vinegar oven roasted tomatoes and little things of bread with some tofu stuff on it, and a hibiscus cooler.  $15, 20 with a tip.  I asked about a place to drink and they suggested Shoolbred’s and the beauty bar.  Shoolbred’s is supposed to be a Scottish bar, which I don’t know enough about to say that they are or aren’t but the lighting was low, great bar, nice bar tender.  I didn’t explore much because I was a little shy.  I had a Brooklyn Lager. http://shoolbreds.com/

The Beauty Bar was cool too, http://www.beautybar.com/ny/home.html.

It’s an old shop that’s been converted to a bar, it was so crowded.  I got my stamp walked in, stood in the middle of people for a sec and turned directly around and left.  

Proof:

                                             

That’s it for now.

 

angry tiger….

Editing is a good thing.

Um so guess who just got a place to live as of today!? Good guess, me!  I will be living in Brooklyn with Yo a totally rad new friend and performance artist!  I’ll post pictures when I can.  I’ll be moving there just a few days shy of July 1st!  The place if freakin’ gorgeous and doesn’t take too long to get to the city.  

Work was good the other day and I like living here so far.  I can’t believe that it’s not even been a week.

Oh and I went to The Horse exhibit today at the Museum of Natural History, Central Park, got lost a little in Greenwich Village, and went and checked out two bars in Brooklyn and had fun with a trivia game at one of the places and making terrible run on sentences….

French then grammar, or culinary school, or sleep…. not sure. 

Thank you Boyz to Men

Hello 2nd grade with the Boyz to Men, ha ha.  I have one of their songs on my computer and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to remember what it was like to listen to when I was younger, yes, than I already am. 

Today was interesting, well so was yesterday.  Today I got out of the house a little earlier than the day before.  I think part of the reason it’s been taking me a little longer to get out of the house is a little bit of anxiety or nervousness but also I have been staying up so late.  I had hoped that by leaving Oly on Thursday night and getting into NYC at 6 AM the next day that I would sleep on the plane and sort of be on East Coast time.  It didn’t work.  I stayed up the other night until 4 AM mostlybecause it’s so freakin’ hot.  

I am getting used to the heat, slowly.  I have a little rag to bring with me to keep from dripping on the floor or other people’s shoes.  It’s not really that bad, but it keeps me cooler.  I do however, seriously folks, need to go shopping.  I can only convert so many already short pants into long shorts.  I got a new skirt and realized after the fact that it’s light grey color was a little see through, good for swimsuit but not undies at work or out and about.  

I feel like I need to catch up with some cool clothes.  So hello 2nd job.  Don’t get me wrong, hours nor pay are an issue with Grumpy at all.  But in the spirit of doing new things and responsibly affording things that I’ve always thought about and wanted to try I think that I might pick something up, like a part time busser position.  That way I can hopefully move up to serving at some point.  How lovely would that be?  I think that I would be a good server.  

Speaking of shopping I got lost in Soho yesterday and it was great!  I didn’t have anywhere to be and just wandered around for too long looking for Mott street to go say hello to Gimme!.  I did finally get there and was pleasantly surprised to see Jenni B, Allen and please forgive me for forgetting the other lovely guy there with a cool bike hat on.  Sorry!  But man, one of these days I want too many shoes, a rad wardrobe and lots of lovely purses!  

I am having trouble finding a place that I like to move.  As I mentioned before I have to move out sooner than I had expected and I am stressing a little.  There are two places that pretty much sound like they are interested, both are in Brooklyn one of them is pretty sketchy at night and the other one, not too much.  I should probably go with the $700 one by Utica but it’s a little further out than I would prefer.  I am trying to stick to the mentality that if I am going to get mugged to get over it and accept whatever, because seeing tomorrow and not getting raped is a good thing.  And rarely, as I understand it, would anything escalate so much unless I am an asshole and super resistant or whatever.  And as outlandish as it may be being raped is totally I think one of my biggest fears.  And on a lighter note I looked at a place of the Graham stop from the L train into Brooklyn that was pretty alright.  I have a private entrance to my own walk-in closet in East Williamsburg.   I hope that one goes through because with utilities it will be just under $650 a month with everything included, which is crazy unheard of!  But I’ll find out tomorrow…. fingers crossed!

Let’s see what else.  Um I was a minority the other day, I walked into a super old and famous Jazz Bar/ Eatery called Soloman’s …Soloman’s Porch and there was me and a server that were white.  It was totally rad!  I love the Northwest but it doesn’t even come close to the diversity here in NYC.  I think that that is something that I want my kid growing up with.  I also want to raise my kid in a bilingual household.  Yay for France!

I have started a little moleskin journal for my expenses, thoughts through out the day and places I am eating.  The things that are included in the food one so far are: name, location and how I got there, what I ordered, impression, service, prices of what I got, and what my total was along with anything else that left an impression.  

I want to go to France, if I can afford it, in February or March of 2009.  Oh yeah, and if can afford french lessons prior to then as well!  

I am pretty terrible right now with tags and categories with my blogs.  I am sure it will make more sense later.  

Oh yes and Oliver and Janae are coming next week and I have a day off when Oliver, and Janae?, and I can go for an extensive coffee tour.  I have to get my act together for that, I ripped my other map… 

Um… Oh yeah at some museum, the… American Museum of Natural History.  I am thinking of going tomorrow, I wish they had some real ones there.  I miss riding horses.  I was totally a wrangler kid, but have moved onto Levi’s.  

Sorry one more thing, that storm when I got soaked in Greenpoint, it was so bad that lightening struck 4 planes and they shut down one of the airports!

ahem, pardon me I think I just touched your butt.

Really I feel more out of place when I apologize for bumping into someone, stepping on their foot or sitting squished next to them, sharing sweat and a seat.  Today was good and so was yesterday.  I talked to someone recently about blogs and how they should check mine if they want updates about what is going on and they brought up the issue of so many bloggers apologizing so often for not updating.  So, in the spirit of new things, new experiences and me, no apologizes.  

Yesterday:

Stuffy on the plane and rude women next to me on the plane.  We were in the 2nd row and there was a woman and her very young child, maybe a year old, behind us, maybe a couple of rows, that was really loud, high shrieks, the whole deal.  I thought it was funny, the kid is probably uncomfortable and I am sure the mom was too.  Anyways the women had the gal, next to me, to comment not only on the nose level but on the fact that perhaps she, the mom, should have thought about Tylenol PM or something to keep the kid quiet. Whatever, they were so inconvenienced by the nose, big fucking deal right.  The kid was quiet after a while, even before we took off I think.  I just thought it was funny and annoying of these women.  Um, hello it was definitely close to the end of the world with the noise.  You’d think that if you are flying to NYC that you can handle, whatever, rambling now.

So after too much TV on the plane, Jet Blue, and a few wheat snacks to put me to sleep, as I am slightly allergic to it, I finally fell asleep.  I snore, sometimes but I got some shut eye non the less.  I woke up at like 4:45 or something close to 5.  We’re supposed to touch down just shy of 6 AM.  I get to the baggage claim, pick up my too heavy bags and quickly, accidentally kick into place and onto the concrete one of my troublesome wheels on a cheap bag.  So I drag my purse and stupid suitcase down the sidewalk to the taxi line.  I am handed a form that states that the taxi has some fixed, flat rate and it also gives me the # of the cab should I leave anything behind, that I want back.  My driver was nice, helped me with my bags and drove me to the Parker Hotel to grab my apartment key.  $45 to the hotel, $5 toll, should I have paid it?  I don’t know but I did.  Then I jumped out, grabbed my key from Lena who was wonderful, she is Lisa’s sweetheart and Lisa is Tim’s sister, my former roommate in Oly.  Back to the car and up to Harlem.  I get up there to the door with my stupid heavy bags and this young lady, 10-12 maybe 13 held open the elevator door for me that no longer has a very strong odor of cat piss.  Up two flights to the apartment that I first visited in March.  I got in and dumped everything down in the room and took a nap.  It was supposed to be just a few hours but I slept till 12ish.  It took me about 2 hours to get from JFK through Queens, Hotel, to the room.  

Downtown finally in Chelsea, stopped by Murray’s Bagels, absolutely delish, cheap and fast.  I will definitely go back.  I got lost, didn’t listen to intuition about direction when I should have.  I just walked further away from Grumpy’s than I needed to, called Caroline, got a call back from Ed and made it to the last 3 coffees to cup.  They were alright.  Mostly I am just blown away about being here so everything is just, whatever, weird, amazing, okay.  And don’t get me wrong, I am happy to be here it’s just kind of unreal.  I was in Oly a day and a half ago and now I am here.  I was talking to a friend last night, having an interesting conversation, and something he said went something like this, quoted from somewhere else too I think: “Everywhere you go, there you are.” It’s true.

Anyways, coffee and bagel later I wonder up 8th or 9th close to 20th Ave and find a little store.  I have never been in a store that was so perfectly faced.  Seriously, I got some butter and as I cleared the corner someone was walking past me to go front again…  $58 bucks later I made it home before the popsicles melted and made some food.  One of the roommates showed up and we chatted a bit.  I think that I need to move out sooner than I had expected but I don’t think that it’ll be a big deal.  Just a little shuffling around.  I have talked with a few people already and probably wrote, “Hello, My name is Sasha King and I just moved here today.  Blah, blah, blah tell me about your room, oh yeah and where is that located?”  20 times.  I got some interesting responses.  I am really excited about a few of them and am meeting two people tomorrow. Both are in Brooklyn, which would be fine.  It’s not what I had planned but it’s NYC so why not, it’s okay.  

I actually went to Brooklyn today and stopped by El Beit and had a lovely espresso, I didn’t ask for the barista’s name… lame, oh and before Brooklyn I stopped by Ninth St. in the Chelsea Market and met Nick and Christine? Kristin?  and had a tasty Stumptown bit from a Marzocco, and an iced coffee.  

So, Brooklyn, I walked to Greenpoint, maybe 30 minutes?  It started raining while I was talking with my parents.  They are helping me out a bit for rent and it because of the little rush to get out of my Harlem stay is going to be very helpful to get into a place by the 1st of July.  Again not part of the plans but whatever, I can adjust.  Maybe freak out a little but I can handle it, or I can’t and we’ll see what happens.  Do stay tuned.  

…

I got to Grumpy’s Greenpoint and met Nick?  Cheryl made me the best espresso I had today.  Crazy clean, sweet, medium rich body, absolutely lovely.  I hung out a bit.  I was shaky.  I think it was the lack of food, new beginnings, pent up anxiety, excitement and way too much coffee for today.  I bought a french press and oh, I forgot to mention it was fucking raining, pouring, thundering and lightning like crazy.  I grabbed a free umbrella and walked back to Bedford Ave.  I was totally soaked, undies, shoes, sandals rather, bag, everything.  It was warm and I was pretty amused and grumpy simultaneously.  I stopped by E Music or something, some record/coffee/grub shop.  They were out of food or a cook, I can’t remember.  

I finally got to Bedford and got a lovely Arugula, pear and gorgonzola salad, a glass of Pino Grigio and 12″ pizza with Arugula, parmesan, prosciutto and some other cheese.  My butt was wet, I was tired and only had a bit to eat before I left.  

Onto the subway, back to Harlem, there was construction, the weather is shitty, I’m tired but I finally made it home.  So, now that I am home, here you are, a bit to read.  And something from The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran:

“Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.  

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.  

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. 

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. 

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

I can’t wait to have kids, but I will, believe me.